On another note...
I will now post what I really intended to post about last time.
I'm really conflicted about my future after my present as a worker bee. I fully intend to get my music off of the ground, however, I'm not sure how to work something out. The idea of my own celebrity is not appealing to me at all. To people who know me well, I am silly, goofy, talkative, and a fun and sociable person. The problem is, not too many people know me well. I am shy. very, very shy. I can go to a party, play the wall or sit in a corner quiet as a mouse and be perfectly fine. I love playing the voyeur and taking in the things around me. I have maddening bouts of stage fright before I perform, and lots of times during a performance. I have not performed at all since being here, and it bothers me than when I get back into the groove, my fright may have even increased. I don't know how to come to terms with or get over this problem. I feel a need to perform and share my voice with people, but I'm the classic introvert. The two extremes are disturbing to me, and I'd like to come to a happy medium, but how?
Also,I have to bitch about my location again: Way up the coast in New York City, I hear tell that my name has passed upon someone's lips because they want me to sing
backup for them, and possibly have my own set for a showcase. but guess what? I CAN'T, because I'm HERE!!!!!!!!!!! Of cousre, if I wasn't a brokeass, this wouldn't be an issue, because I could just fly there for the rehearsals and the performances. I have enough vacation time to take a few weeks off, knock this out and put this experience on my resume, but, let me remind you all again; My Black ass is BROKE, so I can't even fly there for that! I have GOT to leave this place. Besides my fam, there really isn't shit for me here.
Let me go on back to putting my ducks in a row for my escape. Laters!
P.S.
At least I have music to look forward to ( although I'm too broke to buy it right this minute...I'm trying HARD to keep my money in my pocket). Albums from Lalah Hathaway, Shawnna, and Guerilla Black dropped yesterday, and next week, De La Soul and Raphael Saadiq will be dropping new albums. That means I'll be out of about $60 or $70 bucks, but to me, it'll be worth it. Okay, I'm out for real this time :-)
I'm really conflicted about my future after my present as a worker bee. I fully intend to get my music off of the ground, however, I'm not sure how to work something out. The idea of my own celebrity is not appealing to me at all. To people who know me well, I am silly, goofy, talkative, and a fun and sociable person. The problem is, not too many people know me well. I am shy. very, very shy. I can go to a party, play the wall or sit in a corner quiet as a mouse and be perfectly fine. I love playing the voyeur and taking in the things around me. I have maddening bouts of stage fright before I perform, and lots of times during a performance. I have not performed at all since being here, and it bothers me than when I get back into the groove, my fright may have even increased. I don't know how to come to terms with or get over this problem. I feel a need to perform and share my voice with people, but I'm the classic introvert. The two extremes are disturbing to me, and I'd like to come to a happy medium, but how?
Also,I have to bitch about my location again: Way up the coast in New York City, I hear tell that my name has passed upon someone's lips because they want me to sing
backup for them, and possibly have my own set for a showcase. but guess what? I CAN'T, because I'm HERE!!!!!!!!!!! Of cousre, if I wasn't a brokeass, this wouldn't be an issue, because I could just fly there for the rehearsals and the performances. I have enough vacation time to take a few weeks off, knock this out and put this experience on my resume, but, let me remind you all again; My Black ass is BROKE, so I can't even fly there for that! I have GOT to leave this place. Besides my fam, there really isn't shit for me here.
Let me go on back to putting my ducks in a row for my escape. Laters!
P.S.
At least I have music to look forward to ( although I'm too broke to buy it right this minute...I'm trying HARD to keep my money in my pocket). Albums from Lalah Hathaway, Shawnna, and Guerilla Black dropped yesterday, and next week, De La Soul and Raphael Saadiq will be dropping new albums. That means I'll be out of about $60 or $70 bucks, but to me, it'll be worth it. Okay, I'm out for real this time :-)
sputtered by HeavenLei/Blumoonbabe @ 9:44 AM
4 Comments:
At September 29, 2004 at 11:11 PM,
a* said…
Grrrl TAKE A BUS or sumfin!!! If you got a solid opportunity like that
a. you'll get paid, right?
b. you'll get exposure you definately ain't gonna get here in this swamp.
c. you'd get a semi-vacation. lemmie rephrase that a brake from Slo-vannah.
d. you never know what might happen from that.
I'd suggest you get yaself a 250$ credit card if you can (e-mail me and Ill hook you up with a link) that you can have on stash for surprises like this. I feel you on Savannah. Me and my Yankee family are making moves to leave before the end of the year! Can't take it anymore either. GOOD LUCK THOUGH! I pray you make it up that way!
For your stage fright...I have the same issue. If you do small venues often it will definately help. Go to "She Speaks" at Starrca theatre. Check Spitfire Poetry Groups site for the info. But do open Mic or whatever you can locally it'll help when you get to bigger ones. Lemmie tell you from experience. a crown of 20 is good preparation for a crowd od 10,000. But it never really goes away. Jill Scott even says so. Sunglasses so you can't see the crownd are my favorite trick on myself. Or Ill take off my glasses and wear no contacts so I can see ish. Whole nother ball game.
Keep Shining!
At October 1, 2004 at 1:30 AM,
G. Cornelius said…
I will keep you in my prayers...I'll keep you posted
At November 4, 2006 at 9:32 AM,
Anonymous said…
Thank you!
[url=http://dkilmnbx.com/jurv/rbos.html]My homepage[/url] | [url=http://hbckpuhu.com/bxhx/yisr.html]Cool site[/url]
At November 4, 2006 at 9:32 AM,
Anonymous said…
Well done!
http://dkilmnbx.com/jurv/rbos.html | http://ssbfgyfm.com/fjyw/gjtr.html
Post a Comment
<< Home